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April 15, 2019

Who enjoys hard conversations?  Some might look at them as a challenge or a way to a resolution, but many dread them and avoid them at all costs.  Most of us are in between – we don’t love them but we do them, eventually, because the elephants get too big to ignore.  T...

April 11, 2019

Sometimes, life is just hard.  It can be so hard that we hide to survive, but eventually there comes a point when we know there is no more running.  

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Feelings buried alive never die.”  Never was this truer for me than it was...

April 6, 2019

When we deny parts of ourselves, we create a “hidden orphanage inside us – a group of lost and alienated parts of the self that we’ve banished” (Kidd, 1990, p. 161).

What parts of ourselves are we denying and why have we banished them?

I believe we deny the “whats” becau...

April 1, 2019

I’ve had a song in my head (or an earworm as my husband calls it) the past few days.  The lyrics to REO Speedwagon’s That Ain’t Love have been running through my head. 

That ain't love, I believe you've got the wrong emotion
That ain't love, at least it doesn't feel lik...

March 28, 2019

I recently completed several months of EMDR therapy.  All I can say is “Wow!”  I’ve had many types of therapy/therapists over the years and they’ve all been great, but this is exactly what I needed at this time in my life.  It was intense and there was A LOT of ugly cr...

March 26, 2019

Right now, I’m immersed in Sue Monk Kidd’s book When the Heart Waits.  I always seem to find answers in her books when I’m at a crossroads in my life.  Dance of the Dissident Daughter helped give me sanity when I was questioning my belief system and When the Heart...

March 21, 2019

A curse/blessing of middle-age is knowing that we can’t hide from ourselves.  Our maturing bodies and brains compel us to acknowledge our changingness.  Fortunately, a benefit of this changingness is wisdom.  Wisdom is most useful when it is shared.  Thus, I share with...

March 18, 2019

A recurring theme with my clients is learning how to say “no.”  The main feeling that comes up when one wants to say “no” but doesn’t is good old-fashioned guilt. Guilt that comes from cultural, family, and religious traditions.  We feel that when we say “no” we’re bei...

November 4, 2018

Finally, we come to Ruiz’s Fourth Agreement – Always Do Your Best.  This is the Agreement that most changed my life and really set me free. 

Not only does my personality naturally lend itself to high expectations and perfectionism, but I also come from a religious...

October 27, 2018

As I continue re-reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, I’m reminded how insecure humans are as a species. 

"We have millions of questions that need answers because there are so many things that the reasoning mind cannot explain…We have the need to justify ever...

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