There’s nothing like being with my boys. When I am with them, especially when they are both near me, I am complete and whole. I feel perfect peace and incredible joy. Recently, I had the opportunity to visit my youngest son in Alaska. We went everywhere together – the gym, shopping, nice dinner out, the brewery, the tat shop, everywhere. It was a magical time filled with photo shoots and Northern Lights. He’s off to the Middle East soon for a 6-month assignment and I will miss him fiercely.
I didn’t always appreciate the presence of my children. As a stay-at-home mom when they were younger, the days were long, monotonous, and filled with “Mom, mom, mom…” I clearly remember calling my friend, RaLin, and telling her, “Call me my name, call me my name!” I wanted to be just me, just Traci, for a few seconds. Staying at home with them was the toughest job I’ve ever had. I wish I had enjoyed them more but I didn’t.
One of the beautiful things about being middle-aged <gasp> (yes, I went there), is that I am more forgiving of myself. It’s okay I wasn’t a perfect mom and didn’t love every minute of it. I still don’t love every minute of it (adult children can test your patience too!) and it’s okay. I care less about what people think and I’ve realized that most things are not the end of the world. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still high strung and I constantly battle my impatient nature and incessant drive…BUT...finally (!), I’m learning to relax and follow the path my soul is unfolding (more about that here).
Although my boys are grown and the attention they needed when they were younger is gone, the #mommylove I have for them continues to multiply and grow in the form of admiration and pride as I watch them strive to become the best versions of themselves.
Fo and Boo, you have my #mommylove forever!