I’ve had a song in my head (or an earworm as my husband calls it) the past few days. The lyrics to REO Speedwagon’s That Ain’t Love have been running through my head.
That ain't love, I believe you've got the wrong emotion
That ain't love, at least it doesn't feel like love to me
As long as I say what you want to hear
Do what you want to do, be who you want me to be
You think that's love, well baby that ain't love to me
I’ve been wondering why this song is stuck in my head and it finally hit me this morning.
How many times have we wanted someone to behave the way we think they should behave and then decided if we get a chance, we’re going to give them a piece of our mind? The truth of the matter is that their actions have nothing to do with us and are none of our business. If we base our relationships on whether or not others do something we agree with, what kind of relationships are they in the first place?
It’s important to realize that although we may have issues with their decisions, they don’t have issues with their decisions. That doesn’t make us wrong and them right, or vice-versa. It simply makes us different.
One of my friends recently remarried. I am incredibly happy for them and their new spouse but I feel like they rushed their relationship and got married very quickly. I’ve been privately stewing about this but for what reason? Because I disagree with their urgency to be married? Because they didn’t do their courtship the way I think courtships should be and at a pace that makes sense to me? Seriously, who do I think that I am that I have any sort of right to judge or determine a more sensible course of action for them? The truth is that I have no right and I’ve chastened myself for my shortsightedness.
I encourage you to evaluate your relationships and determine if there’s a way you can approach them differently. Do you recognize any “my way or the highway” thoughts? Remember that your issues are exactly that – your issues, not someone else’s. There’s enough judgment and criticism in the world. Let’s love instead!
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